Why are my shoulders tight all the time? Navigating chronic tension as a Highly Sensitive Person

Hand up if you’re a highly sensitive person who deals with persistent muscle tightness, tension, aches and pains?

If so, I see you. You are not alone. 

The question is: why does this happen? And, importantly, what can you do about it?

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I remember, many years ago, being fired as a client by my acupuncturist.

I’d been seeing him for a while to help with persistent headaches and tight shoulders. He was lovely, I was a punctual and friendly client, I thought it was going well … and then he fired me.

I had him stumped, he told me. I was just too tense and too tight. My concrete shoulders weren’t giving way under his care. He invited me to come back when I’d found a way to relax. 

The irony.

I don’t remember a time in my life when I wasn’t tense. As a teenager, I’d flinch when someone touched the muscles of my shoulders. I complained of headaches every single day. I hopped from massage therapist to osteopath to chiropractor in my 20s, desperately seeking relief. Now, looking back, I see some clear links between the tension I’ve experienced my whole life and being a Highly Sensitive Person. 

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Before we go on, if you prefer to watch and/or listen, this is a blog version of Episode 294 of my podcast, SelfKind. You can click below for the audio-visual experience or find it here on my website or on your podcast player of choice. If you prefer to read, let’s get back to it. 

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To talk about the link between being a highly sensitive person and muscle tension, first we need to lay the groundwork. To be a highly sensitive person means (amongst other things) that you:

1. Sense the subtle (i.e. are aware of things that others often miss)

2. Process things deeply (i.e. make multiple connections with a single piece of information).

Hold that thought for a second, and let’s talk about another concept: the Window of Tolerance. 

The Window of Tolerance posits that we all have a window of optimal ‘arousal’ in which we can best navigate the ups and downs in life. When you’re in your window, things are ok. You feel good, capable and connected. However, when you leave your window, either because you’re over or under aroused, things can feel rather less than ok. 

When you’re overaroused you might feel anxious, overwhelmed, stressed out and freaking out. When you’re underaroused you might feel heavy, hopeless and helpless. In both cases: you’re stressed.

The cool thing about this window analogy is that you can visualise how you might exit your ‘ok’ zone. Too much coming at you and suddenly you’re very much not ok. This is a common experience for highly sensitive people. 

If we rewind and consider the way highly sensitive people (HSPs) sense the subtle and process things deeply, it makes sense. If you’re noticing and processing more things and doing so deeply, it’s logical that you might exceed your optimal zone a little more quickly than your non-HSP friend.

Ok, so how does that relate to muscle tension?

Well, let’s consider for a moment the way your body responds to overarousal (i.e. stress): it resources you with the physiological tools to deal with the stress. That is, it gets you ready to fight, flee or freeze. 

So, those tight muscles? Perfect for self-preservation.

In a world where things are often too loud, too bright and too much, it makes sense that as a highly sensitive person, that can equate to chronic tension. You’re forever ready to handle the stress coming at you. The problem is, that stress doesn’t resolve in a world that is loud, bright and busy.

Which leads me to the next question: what do we do about it?

There’s a lot we can do, but I want to offer up two thoughts today:

1. Respect your sensitivity.

   This is key. If you are blaming, shaming and pushing your sensitivity, your body will respond (with more tension, not less). Instead, if you take the approach of respecting, nurturing and supporting your sensitivity, that’s when things can change. How can you modify things for yourself so that your senses aren’t constantly bombarded? How can you take some quiet moments throughout the day to nurture yourself?

   
   

2. Using mindful movement.

   The stress that accumulates in your body and shows up in those tight muscles is just waiting to be moved. Remember, the tension is there in order to help you navigate (i.e. run from or fight) stress. Movement gives that tension an outlet.

   You can do any kind of movement you like, and it can be a really great idea to have a few types in your toolkit - vigorous walking or a jog can feel different to a gentle yoga class, but both have their place. 

My personal favourite tool - somatic exercise and gentle yoga, and here’s why:

• These practices not only help us to move tension, they also teach us to down-regulate our often overstimulated nervous systems.

• They are specific and allow us to get into the spots that really ache - shoulders and hips being two of the big ones.

• They can support us to befriend our body and develop a nurturing, kind relationship with it.

At the end of the day, if you’re a highly sensitive person who experiences persistent muscle tension, aches and pains, I hope this article explains a little  more about why that might be.

And if you want to go deeper? You might want to join me for SOMA:HOME - an 8 week online group program designed specifically for highly sensitive people. Befriend your body and your sensitivity; shift that pesky, persistent tension and finally feel like you can navigate overwhelm without all the shame. 

Learn more here.